At least 99-percent of us were involved in sports as a kid. Whether it was AYSO, little league baseball or tee ball, everyone was dragged off to a sport. For me, it was AYSO. Now, I have zero hand eye coordination so soccer and I did not mix well. I was the weakest link of the team. However, at the end of the season, both the best player on the team and I received the same trophy. Obviously, I was over the moon. She was not.

We got the same prize for doing completely different things, and that just doesn’t seem fair. I had a eureka moment upon receiving my trophy. I didn’t have to do anything, and I still reaped the rewards. However, life is not at all like AYSO. A bunch of dads might cheer for everyone now, but fast forward 10 years and that will sadly not be the case. Competition rises, jealousy ensues and you have to start working to get what you want, and even then it still might not happen. After this, you have the plentiful amount of kids who were fed lies about how amazing they were, and when they lose, a parent has to step in and complain to the coach or talk to the manager, and it’s a giant mess. Honestly, people should receive prizes or recognition for what they have accomplished—not what they participate in.

I really don’t mean to seem like an insensitive jerk who wants 5-year-olds to toughen up and not cry if they don’t get recognized. It hurts when you don’t get what you want, or what you think you deserved. I have been there. When participation ribbons stopped being given out and all the compassion was gone, I was so upset. When my mom saw me like that, she taught me a phrase that can be applied to anything: “not everyone gets a ribbon.” It may be harsh, but it’s so true. A ribbon, in any case could mean a lot of things, whether it’s a spot on the team, a callback, a job or even a physical ribbon. Maybe it’s the way we’re raised. My mom was taught that, and then told me, and I know I have to work if I really want something done. If you are raised to believe that everything you ever want will just fall into your lap, the reality will kick in, and it will not be pretty. Rewarding people for doing nothing sounds a lot like the public dealing with the Kardashian family. We all know the root of their fame, and that’s because their “momager” Kris Jenner hyped them up too much.

Remember when we were little and moms planned the birthday parties? Well, if the whole entire class was not sent an invitation, you had a bunch of angry moms at your doorstep demanding why their child was not sent an invitation. If roles were reversed, I was told that it wasn’t a big deal. I understood. There isn’t always room. Not everyone can always come. Sometimes you get invited, and sometimes you don’t. It’s the same way when you’re a teenager, and the same when you’re an adult.

The world is a competitive place. Sometimes you must rise to the occasion, and whatever happens, happens. It’s OK when you’re just a little kid, but you should be aware, and should definitely expect it to change when you hit a certain age. Not everyone gets a ribbon- and it’s alright.