Aries- (March 21-April 19): In an attempt to spend your St. Patrick’s Day in the city, be careful not too get too wild and fall in the river and dye…your clothes green.

Taurus- (April 20- May 20): Relying on your luck when it comes to your Bio test will not do you good when you realize that you totally bombed it. Guess the club won’t be going up this Tuesday.

Gemini- (May 21- June 20): You’ll have to try to cheer up, “ghosty”! This is the one day of the year you can actually celebrate your blindingly pale skin without being charged with a public disturbance notice.

Cancer- (June 21- July 22): One of the highlights of your day will be the endless snapchats you get from your drunk Irish Grandma, talking about how much she loves making soda bread.

Leo- (July 23 – Aug. 22): Even though you may not be Irish, this day will bring you good luck when the kid who always reminds your teacher to collect homework is absent. Your after school nap ended up not coming back to bite you!

Virgo- (Aug. 23- Sept. 22): You might wake up with a not-so-pleasant surprise when you realize that your lovely friends played a prank on you and dyed your hair bright orange while you were sleeping. Long live the soulless.

Libra- (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22): For all you Irishmen, don’t get too out of hand and completely deck your wardrobe out for the day. We understand that it’s St. Patrick’s Day, but bright green REALLY doesn’t go well with your pale skin.

Scorpio- (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): The weekend after St. Patrick’s day is going to be a crazy one, but be careful to avoid sketchy green food that looks a little mysterious. You don’t want to end the weekend with an awful case of Salmonella.

Sagittarius- (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): We all know that the only reason you like St. Patrick’s day is because of the Shamrock Shakes, so indulge in that sugary toothpaste while you still can!

Capricorn- (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): While you are galloping through the majestic and vast fields of Bemis Woods, you will stumble upon a four leaf clover which ensures good luck for eternity! That is until the poison ivy you also found gives you hives all over your body, even in places you can’t reach.

Aquarius- (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Unfortunately you go to LT, so according to Hinsdale Central, the only green that’s not coming your way this St. Patricks Day is money. We is too poor and illiterit.

Pisces- (Feb. 19 – March 20): You’ll get excited to see little green footprints around your house until you realize its actually your dwarf Uncle Al again.