Are you in desperate need of some guidance? Looking forward to what is yet to come? Thank God, because we didn’t write these for nothing. So sit back, kick your feet up and enjoy yourself as you read our predictions for your near future. These are the ‘Scopes. (Note: The following are for entertainment purposes only and are not intended to be taken seriously in any way, shape or form.)Aries- (March 21- April 19): Try to restrain yourself from making a sarcastic comment about this being the fifth week in a row you’ve seen a #mcm of your best friend’s boyfriend- I know it may be hard, but it’s for the best.

Taurus- (April 20- May 20): We all know those advent calendar chocolates are tempting but try not to eat all of them while binge-watching a marathon of Christmas movies; seeing “Elf” for the third time in one week on Netflix isn’t healthy, trust me.

Gemini- (May 21- June 20): You may typically be clever and intelligent, but make sure not to let your procrastination habits kick in when it comes to taking the gym final—slacking during the heart rate monitor tests will suddenly not be amusing when you realize you have a B+ in gym.

Cancer- (June 21- July 22): Your time is finally here. You will finally have the confidence to take your long time classroom crush out for a romantic, love-filled Saturday night in DTLG. Fountain, here we come.

Leo- (July 23- Aug. 22): When you’re feeling down this month, don’t be ashamed to drown your stress in the wonderful sound of some Christmas music. Because at LT, Christmas only means one thing: we’re halfway to summer break.

Virgo – (Aug. 23- Sept. 22): Even if you might look calm, cool and collected for your Spanish presentation, think about giving your teacher a heads up if you feel like you may pass out and take the podium with you.

Libra- (Sept. 23- Oct. 22): Even though we all know you love attention, the 1 a.m. trip to Taco Bell with your pals does not require more than a minute’s worth of getting ready—this is a food run, not Homecoming. Let’s tone down the makeup a little bit.

Scorpio- (Oct. 23- Nov. 21): Although you’ll be persistent this month with trying to convince everyone to stay away from you because you have Ebola. Don’t worry, no one is at harm. It’s just the bubonic plague.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22- Dec. 21): Despite your consistent luck, your usual good fortune will be soiled when you realize (while laying in bed) that your final English essay of the semester is due first period tomorrow. Better get typing.

Capricorn- (Dec. 22- Jan. 19): Your persistence to go Holiday shopping will come back to haunt you after you get KO’ed by that soccer mom behind you that wanted that toaster oven a little more than you did.

Aquarius- (Jan. 20- Feb. 18): Just keep it real. Odds are you are already a super cool person and great to be around. Good luck will come to you soon (Side note: both writers are Aquarius).

Pisces- (Feb. 19- March 20): Try to restrain yourself from making rude comments to your drunk Uncle Al during Christmas dinner we know you have already heard all the stories about his glory days in college, but try to keep your sanity (at least for a little while).