Oh the joys of Halloween. Your classic childhood holiday: emptying lonely candy bowls on porches, hauling around ragged pillow sacks and zeroing in on those king-size candy bar houses, dressing up as a garbage man or a bathtub or a cheerleader. Girls and guys didn’t bare all and strut around like they owned the place. Kairos didn’t happen to coincide with the holiday. It wasn’t a social event, it was just a day that started and ended with sugar, ghosts and witch fingernails.

Ever since freshman year, it has been a source of constant internal distress, as one half of your developing mind wants to hurl some rotten eggs and call it a night, while the other pushes for an all out return to the glory days. And in writing this, I urge you to pay attention to the latter. With my last Halloween as a kid on my horizon, I speak from a real place of spooked spirits and imminent regret. Who wouldn’t want to forget your giant-like height and newly-sprouted facial hair or klutzy-gate and head out on the hunt with the excitable 7 year-olds? If that doesn’t sound like a party, I can do nothing for you. Being slightly embarrassed throughout the night will pay off, I promise.

Here are the top five steps to make sure you squeeze the life out of the holiday while still preserving your perfectly intact cool-kid teenager reputation:

1. Go with that younger bro or sis. Even if they resist. Just do it.
2. Go goth. Ever wanted to cover yourself with black makeup and walk outside despite crazy looks from the neighbors? Don’t miss your chance.
3. Go creepy Barbie. Take all of the dolls your brother broke when you were little, and just scatter them in the yard. Or your exes yard. Far superior to bageling.
4. Go hide. Plan a gigantic game of hide and seek or car tag in the neighborhood. Whoever wins gets to teepee the house of their opponents. With silly string and fake blood of course.
5. Go short. Work out those quads by scooting/waddling/flopping along on your knees or bent down—the perfect height to blend in with those 5^th Just put that voice an octave up and remember your Crocs and One Direction paraphernalia.

I will leave you, my tortured, egg-throwing, black-hooded teenage comrades, with one last word from my limited wisdom: if it’s your last Halloween at home, or even close to your last, live it up. Be a kid again and enjoy it. It won’t be the same with the craziness of college or when we’re adults and we all have kids of our own. So dress up and trick or treat and eat candy and scare people like you’re supposed to. I promise, your reputation will survive.