In my first column for the Lion last year, I wrote about dumb questions, and it only seems fitting that I should continue it with a second and final installment. No crowd is more vexatious than those on college tours. It’s an endless barrage of dumb questions, dealt out by both prospective students and their helicopter parents.

And unfortunately for me, due to the fact that I went on nearly every college tour my sister went on, I’ve been to about 20-30 college tours. I’ve heard all the questions, and I’ve heard them all too much.

The “Let Me Just Write It in My Notepad” Question– All of these questions are pretty annoying, but this might be my biggest pet peeve of all of them. It’s not really a specific question that annoys me, but the act that follows. A prospective student asks a question as simple as “How many students come from out of state?”A harmless enough a question, but as soon as they get a response, they quickly whip out their trusty notepad and start copying a response. Did I miss something? Is there a quiz at the end of the tour that leads to automatic admission with a 100%? College tours are precisely what they say they are— tours! You come to absorb the appearance and aesthetics of the college. The rest of the information you can get through websites and calls.

The “I Already Know the Answer” Question– Nearly every tour, you can count on an alum to drop a question that they already know the answer to. This question is all too easy to predict, as the questioner will get a devilish look in their eye as they quickly shout out a question. Their voice takes a more inquisitive tone and the alum asks “What is this fraternity?” They can’t wait for the tour guide to mess up, because the second that they do, they correct them with a hearty “Alpha Sigma Sigma!” Immediately after their correction, you can sense that they get some feeling of accomplishment that you get when you answer a question while watching Jeopardy alone in your underpants. You know, the one that no one, including you, should care about.

The Bandwidth Question– It’s bound to happen every tour, especially as you walk across the library or union of any given campus. A hand shoots up, and a man utters a phrase so insufferable I almost have to turn away. “What’s the bandwidth of all these computers?” or some equally technical question. No matter how many times I here this question, I can’t wrap my head around why it would be asked. Does that information really ultimately lead to the college choice your child will make? Heck, will you remember the number on the car ride home? Even if your child is a computer science major, they will likely work on their own laptop or in a special computer lab. Maybe you should go home and ask the internet that question, unless of course you don’t have enough bandwidth on your computer and are desperate for an upgrade.

The Mhm- While anybody who asks these questions above is an awful person to be on a tour with, The Mhm is worst of them all. It’s not even a question; it’s just a person constantly answering in the affirmative. Every bit of information, every fact is followed with a “Mhm”. They constantly need to express to people that they approve of the information being presented, and find all of it factually correct. If you ever find yourself, or your parent doing this, please stop. You’re annoying everyone, or at the very least, me. Ok? Mhm.

Don’t get me wrong, college tours have been essential to my college search. They are incredibly useful and perhaps their only fault is the dumb questions they inspire. So whether you’re a year away from beginning the process of the college search, at the tail end of it, or right in the heat of things, keep your ears open for dumb questions, and most importantly don’t be the questioner.