This year’s high school presidential election has geared up to be a replica of the last, with seniors Ronald Rump and Bo Jiden competing yet again. The two super-seniors, age 77 and 81, have repeatedly broken records for oldest high school president as well as student. 

“I admit our options for class president are limited, so I’m just voting for who I think is the least damaging to the school community,” student council member Sally Seashell ‘25 said. 

Seashell specifically noted concerns regarding the age of the candidates.

“Seriously, are they even real high schoolers,” she said. “I bet they haven’t stepped foot in the cafeteria since the Cold War.”

While Jiden’s policies promising free snacks for all fell through due to concerns over the school budget, Rump’s proposal to build a wall around the cafeteria to keep out “foreign” food options was met with controversy, Seashell said.

“To be honest, I really don’t feel comfortable endorsing any of their proposals,” Superintendent Ryan Fireman said.

The debate, which featured Jiden repeatedly losing his train of thought mid-sentence and Rump resorting to his favorite tactic of name-calling and finger-pointing, served more as entertainment than education for students, Waterboy said. 

“It resembled more of a retirement home bingo night than a political forum,” he said.

While other candidates such as Nicolina Hallen ‘25, Teddy Cruise ‘25, Ruben De Santa ‘25, Jean Fillips ‘25, and Maria Williams ‘25, began the election with hopes of being a final candidate, all have dropped out of the race. 

“I said I wanted LT students to have their voice heard,” Hailey said when announcing her withdrawal from the race. “I have done that. I have no regrets. And although I will no longer be a candidate, I will not stop using my voice for the things I believe in.”

Ultimately, the election has left the reluctant student body stuck between a rock and a hard place, or rather, one old white man and another old orange man, Seashell said. With the limited options, most students are simply trying to make the best of a sour situation.

“It’s a lose-lose scenario,” Seashell said. “It doesn’t matter who we choose because they’re both too old to actually understand any of the real issues us students face.”