In a stunning display of dedication, Ted Tardi ‘24 has been awarded the prestigious “Imperfect Attendance Award” from LT’s administration for his consistent ability over the past four years to not quite make it to school.

In his typical fashion, however, Tardi wasn’t present to receive such high honor. Stunningly, Assistant Principal Kellan Duster gave in and applauded Tardi’s efforts.

“Student attendance and behavior are top priorities,” Duster said. “This display of dedication really showcases the diverse array of talents in our community, and we wanted to finally give in to the cause and highlight that.”  

Tardi, who has perfected the art of blaming everything from traffic to rouge alarm clocks for his lateness, expressed his thanks for the recognition over email—about five days after the award ceremony commenced. 

“It’s an honor to be recognized for my consistent inconsistency,” he wrote. “I’d like to thank my snooze button for always being there for me, and my Infinite Campus for the constant updates to my attendance. It’s a reminder of my success.” 

After listening to the attendance protocols on Freshman Experience Day, his idea came to be. From that day forward, getting him to come to school was like getting a toddler to eat green leafy food, happening only at a wager. 

“I considered the speech both a threat and a challenge,” Tardi said.  “And you know what they say, challenge accepted… but maybe tomorrow.”

Duster and others working in the AP office have sent out around three dozen attendance absence letters and emails to Tardi’s residence and guardians. However, they’ve all come back repurposed as various origami attempts, she said. They now have a display of crumpled paper in the trophy case on the wall as a constant reminder of Tardi’s vendetta. 

“Maybe one day he’ll show up to collect his award,” Duster said. “Or not. We’ll just keep a timer going.”

Now, his legacy lives on in the halls of LT, where a student whose commitment to showing up late is matched only by his ability to make an entrance. Tardi is reportedly considering running for mayor after graduation, where his campaign goals are putting a ban on the “Radar” alarm tone and claiming punctuality is just political propaganda.