What started as a simple oral recitation assigned by first year Latin teacher Romulus Remus took a dark turn when reciting a Latin translation of Enya’s song, “Only Time,” accidentally resurrected some sort of demon last week in room 223 at NC.

“I don’t know how it happened,” Remus said. “At first things were going fine, everyone was reciting the lyrics in Latin, but then there was this puff of dark air, a rancid smell and Clifford the Hellhound showed up.”

Clifford the Hound from Hell is referring to the 10-foot-long demon that is now the NC Latin classes’ class pet. It seems to have the legs of a goat, a snake like torso, a cat’s tail and ears, and worst of all– the head of Caligula, a Roman emperor.  

“The worst thing about it is the head,” Latin student Laetitia Simms ‘19 said. “It’s always screaming at us, saying things like, “Shrek’ is the best film in cinematic history!’ and ‘Jane Eyre should have ended up with St. John!’ It’s so hard to hear.”

The class has tried numerous methods to reverse the resurrection and send Clifford the Flaming Beast back to wherever he came from. They recited the song backwards, LT Principal Byron Aguahombre performed an exorcism and they tried gladiator fights, but nothing worked.

Finally, they just decided to embrace Clifford the Big Red Devil. They gave him a toga and a #2 pencil, and he was ready to go to school as an LT student.

“I fit in here really well I think,” Clifford of the Underworld said. “Though now I go by Clarence the Antichrist. This school is very different from where I come from, the core of the Earth. I think it’s so great that you guys have sporks–I love that!”

Believe it or not, Clarence has clicked with the art students. He has recently gotten into sculpture and paper mache. He says his sculptures depict the fate of the human race.

“I have learned a lot from LT students,” Clarence said. “For example, I now know that the best movie is ‘Ratatouille,’ not ‘Shrek.’ And we apparently worship someone called Lil Jumex.”